


Training for the Ballet?

by ElectraCute



Series: The End of the Rainbow [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ballet, Dancer Draco Malfoy, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Gay Panic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectraCute/pseuds/ElectraCute
Summary: Young Draco Malfoy is about to say goodbye to his home and embark on a new journey at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, he must leave his pointe shoes behind.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The End of the Rainbow [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651339
Comments: 34
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> I’m sure you saw the Drarry tag above, but I must clarify, this isn’t a Drarry-centric story. It’s more about Draco finding himself and embracing his identity among the pressure and influences from his family and school. The Drarry action is simply one of the several plot points, so if you came here to read a purely romantic story you might be a little disappointed.
> 
> Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s talk about why I wrote this. Back in the day my good friend @todaslasmadrugadas was working on her amazing Wolfstar piece “The Boys of Summer”, which you can read in the beginning of this series. Our constant discussions about the story led to us slowly building an entire AU around it. So we asked ourselves; what will the other characters be up to? And we came up with a few ideas. One of which was Ballet Dancer Draco.
> 
> At first it was just a thought, but the more we kept building the characters and events of this AU, the more it seemed like Draco’s story deserved to be told. His relationship with his family, his days at Hogwarts, his own personal interests were all worth exploring. In my eyes, Draco has never been this stereotypical bad boy that many fanworks portray him as. I think he’s a sensitive, lonely, confused kid in need of some help and guidance. And in circumstances different to those of canon, he might have been allowed to bloom into someone else entirely. I’m giving him this opportunity here. I hope this portrayal doesn’t strike you as too unusual.
> 
> If you’ve come from “The Boys of Summer” or any other works from The End of the Rainbow AU, get excited because there will be a few cameos. This is an expansion of the universe and everything mentioned here is in line with previous works. You might even find a few references here and there, so tell me if you caught them ;)
> 
> The story will be updated with new chapters every Sunday!
> 
> That’s all for now, please enjoy!

_ April 1993 _

Draco bangs his fist on the table and gets up.

“Listen Lyra, if you’re not going to cooperate then I can’t stay at your tea party!”

Little grey eyes look at him imploringly.

“No!” he insists. “You can impose your dreadful lack of etiquette on the dolls, because I will tolerate it no longer! I’m going to sit with the grown-ups, where I belong!”

The little girl glares at him angrily and fumes. He has been trying to show her how to conduct a proper tea party for the past hour, but Lyra is hardly interested in his teachings. Draco wonders how it is possible that two people as calm and collected as Uncle Regulus and Aunt Josephine have produced such an undisciplined child. His grandmother thinks that little Lyra somehow takes after Aunt Bellatrix.

True to his word, he makes his way to the parlour, where the grown-ups are having a lively conversation. Apart from his parents and grandparents, there’s also Aunt Walburga and Uncle Regulus with a notoriously pregnant Aunt Josephine.

Aunt Bellatrix has stopped coming to these Sunday gatherings lately, and Draco cannot say that he misses her - she’s always very loud and terribly opinionated without good reason, and the only person sincerely enjoying her presence is Aunt Walburga.

The one currently speaking is his father, a cigar in his left hand and his right arm lightly draped around his wife. He seems distressed. “I simply cannot wrap my head around it. What was the school board thinking? Men like Remus Lupin should never be allowed near our children, let alone teach them!” Everyone is nodding in agreement, some more fervently than others. “I’ve even considered sending Draco off to some boarding school abroad. I have found this very respectable institute in northern Europe.”

His mother startles at that. “Lucius! What are you talking about? I am not sending my son so far away! Besides, our families have attended Hogwarts for generations, it’s almost like a second home to us. You will not send Draco abroad, I will not allow it!”

The expression on his father’s face softens. Draco knows that if there’s one thing the all-powerful Lucius Malfoy cannot resist, that is his wife’s will. “Of course, my darling.” He takes her hand and kisses it. “I would never act against your wishes. Forget I ever suggested that.”

“But, Lucius,” protests Aunt Walburga, “what about Lupin? Will you entrust people like him with Draco’s education?” Disgust is prevalent in her voice.

“Absolutely not. I will simply use my connections to let everybody know  _ what  _ he is - surely, the parents will eventually demand that he be sacked.”

“No.” It is Uncle Regulus who has spoken, and everyone turns to look at him in astonishment. He rarely ever objects to whatever is being discussed, usually just dipping biscuits in his tea and humming in agreement.

“Why not, Regulus dear?” asks Aunt Walburga. “I don’t suppose you endorse the appointment of Mr. Lupin as professor at Hogwarts, do you?”

“Of course not, mother. But, Lucius, think about it for a moment. You’re not the only parent with connections. What if someone else decides to investigate the matter a little further? What if they find out exactly who Mr. Lupin is living with? We’ve managed to keep Sirius and his…  _ abnormality  _ a secret for so long. You cannot risk revealing it and tarnishing the noble name of Black!”

They all seem to ponder it for a moment. Eventually, it is Draco’s mother that breaks the silence. “Regulus is right. We mustn’t meddle. If Mr. Lupin is keeping his personal life a secret and not allowing it to interfere with his teaching, I don’t think we have anything to fear.” Uncle Regulus is smiling gratefully at her, but she doesn’t see him. “I cannot bear another round of newspapers and magazines talking of a prodigal child in the House of Black. We’ve had enough of that,” she sighs and his father’s grip around her tightens in consolation.

Draco is not quite sure about who Mr. Lupin is and what he has done to provoke the rage of the Blacks, but he knows the man’s secret will be carefully guarded by his family, despite how much they would prefer the opposite.

“I used to think that kicking out that horrible child would be the end of our troubles, but it seems that I was wrong,” laments Aunt Walburga. “Sometimes I wish he had never been born.”

It doesn’t take long for Draco to find out the truth; he has known for years about the two Blacks burnt off the tapestry, Andromeda and Sirius. He has been told that Andromeda Black, his mother's sister, married someone the family disapproved of, and that's why they cut her off. But they had not explained Sirius’ case thus far.

However, the conversation he has overheard is now igniting his curiosity. After a while, he builds up the courage to ask about it; at first he figures that his mother is the safest choice, but then reconsiders; talking about disinherited family members tends to make her rather emotional.

He ends up asking his father, and the mystery is finally solved; the family disinherited Sirius because he was a  _ homosexual _ . Draco is not quite sure what that means, but his father explains that Sirius was romantically involved with men instead of women, which of course was a behaviour not tolerated by the Blacks. He left them no choice but to cut him off completely, and none of them has ever contacted him again.

As for Remus Lupin, the newly appointed literature professor at Hogwarts, it seems that he is Sirius’ partner. And this gives the Blacks twice as much reason to disapprove of him, but also ties their hands; if they expose professor Lupin, they are exposing their own prodigal son. This is why they must keep his secret at all costs. This is why Draco must not tell anyone next year, when he goes off to Hogwarts.

The months leading up to it pass rather gloomily, with his mother in and out of the hospital once again - Draco knows what that means, although no one is willing to discuss it; another little brother or sister that he will never meet. He spends his days feeling quite lonely, with only his nanny to keep him company; and she doesn’t make for very nice company, truth be told, with her too tight collars and her too proper ways.

Almost as if to spite them, Uncle Regulus and Aunt Josephine welcome their second child, a baby boy whom they name Perseus. They call to tell them the news, and Draco overhears his mother weeping after hanging up the phone. He cries a little bit too - he has always wanted a sibling to play with, and it isn’t fair that Lyra gets one instead.

His only consolation is the afternoons he spends at the ballet school - the last ones, he knows, since he will be leaving for Hogwarts next year. And he has just now received his pointe shoes! It is a shame indeed that he will leave them behind before he gets a chance to break them in completely.

His mother has been dancing ever since he can remember himself. She would put classical pieces on the record player and pirouette around the house, holding him in her arms when he was younger, taking him by the hand when he first began to walk, leading him into the dance once he had full control of his feet.

Draco knows that she was a ballerina once - he has seen the photos she keeps in an album, and he has found the boxes with her old equipment; the pointe shoes, the leotards, the tutus, the costumes from her shows. His favourite one was the swan costume; he liked to caress the white feathers that gently tickled his fingers and imagine them twirling under the stage lights.

She smiled fondly when Draco announced that “he wanted to be a ballerina too,” and immediately took him to ballet classes. His father reacted at first, but all it took was a pleading look from his wife and he gave his permission.

The girls in the class were baffled by his presence at first, but never made fun of him - if anything, they admired him. Because from the very beginning, Draco has been exceptional. It takes very little practice for him to be able to perform the different movements and positions perfectly. And he loves every second of it; he finds freedom in the discipline, and sheer joy floods his chest when his feet drift away into the music.

For this year’s ballet show they are doing  _ Peter Pan _ , and Draco has been assigned the part of John - although he would much rather have been Tinker Bell. Unfortunately, his mother is still bedridden and his father… Well, his father has never been interested in these shows anyway.  _ It’s his loss _ , thinks Draco as he takes a graceful bow in the end and the audience cheers for him with enthusiasm,  _ he will never know how good a dancer I am. _

In the end, it is Uncle Regulus who has come to see him, and he gives him a large bouquet of white roses that exude a delightful scent. “I have taped the whole thing,” he says, handing him a tape recorder, “so that your mum can see you too. You were spectacular.” Draco’s heart swells with pride at that, and thoughts of his father lie in the corner, forgotten.

He plugs it into the large television in the master bedroom that night, and cuddles up against his mother as they watch the recording together, her fingers lightly stroking his hair. She hugs him tightly after that, and whispers into his ear how proud she is of him, how much she loves him, and how terribly she is going to miss him, now that he’s leaving for Hogwarts. He is going to miss her too, of course, but the truth is he simply cannot wait to be gone from the Manor, even if it’s just for a few months; it feels like the air in there is limited, and he needs to get out in order to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this first chapter? Leave me a comment and share your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2

_ September 1993 _

Hogwarts welcomes Draco to its grounds. He is enrolled in Slytherin House, where he is reunited with some familiar faces; Crabbe and Goyle and Blaise Zabini, children of family friends with whom Draco used to have countless playdates when he was younger. His family’s history at the school predates him, and everyone already seems to know who he is.

The opposite is also true; Draco is able to identify certain professors from the stories he has heard; tiny Professor Flitwick, who teaches Music, and elderly Professor Binns, who teaches History (and looks old enough to have witnessed it).

Of course, there is also the imposing Headmistress McGonagall, who has replaced recently retired Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, the one from his parents’ time at Hogwarts. McGonagall teaches Classics to sixth- and seventh-years, which means Draco will not be in her class for a while.

At Science class he meets his father’s old friend, Severus Snape - or  _ Professor Snape _ , as he must call him now. Draco remembers him visiting Malfoy Manor several times, and himself being a little afraid of him when he was younger - he had read some old horror books from their home library then, and convinced himself Snape was secretly a vampire.

Later on, however, he realised that the skeletally thin man with the crooked nose and greasy black locks is actually rather alright. Draco especially likes the fact that Snape never talks down to him, but treats him like a fellow adult and uses all sorts of difficult words, which Draco sometimes has to look up in the dictionary afterwards.

His father says that Snape is a great man with a brilliant mind, and a well-known scholar. Some years ago, he realised that science textbooks taught at school were inadequate, and decided to write his own. He accepted a teaching position at Hogwarts as part of his research, trying to find the best approach to writing a school textbook. He kept saying it was temporary, but he doesn’t seem to be planning on leaving anytime soon. Perhaps he secretly enjoys it.

Something he definitely does not enjoy, though, is the presence of a certain student named Harry Potter. Harry Potter is in Draco’s year, but belongs to Gryffindor House. He has messy black hair and wears glasses, behind which shines a pair of cheeky green eyes. Snape is particularly harsh to him in class, and scolds him thoroughly every time he makes a mistake, or even with no provocation at all. Draco assumes there must be a reason behind his behaviour, and is a little cautious towards Harry Potter.

A few days after his arrival, he also meets Professor Lupin, the one his father warned him about. He does look like a sketchy character, but only if you observe him really closely. Lupin teaches Literature and, contrary to Snape, seems to be particularly fond of the Potter boy. The matter troubles Draco for some time before he eventually decides that there simply  _ must _ be something wrong with Potter, and plans to treat him accordingly.

Most of the time he ends up hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle, despite the fact that they aren’t much fun. They’re always willing to be bossed around, never questioning him, and that is enough. He has seen how their fathers behave exactly the same way in the presence of his own father, and knows that things like that happen for a reason.

Besides, who else would he befriend? That tall redhead with the second-hand uniform, or the bushy-haired girl with the big front teeth? No thanks, Potter can keep those two for himself if he means to join them in being a loser.

Draco has asked and learned about them; the ginger boy is attending Hogwarts as part of a charity programme, where some institution donated large sums of money to provide less privileged children with high quality education. His name is Ronald Weasley, and his family has been chosen for the programme because they have seven children. All of them have been attending Hogwarts for free, and Draco can’t help but find this infuriating - his own family is not sending him here so he can associate with people like  _ them _ .

The girl, on the other hand, has a partial scholarship because of her “outstanding academic performance”. Her name is Hermione Granger, and Draco has hated her since day one. She is nothing but an insufferable know-it-all who desperately tries to answer every single question in class and raises her hand all the way to the ceiling, hoping for teachers to notice her. Draco sometimes feels like strangling her - he knows most of the answers too, but doesn’t put up such a show.

This dislike growing inside him is what makes him pick on the little group of three with every chance he is given. A rivalry begins to form between them. Potter - who doesn’t lack in boldness - returns fire. His sharp tongue and quick wit sometimes leave Draco unable to retort, and this infuriates him even further. Crabbe and Goyle are often forced to listen to his endless monologues on just how  _ terrible  _ Harry Potter is.

Draco’s resentment, however, is not reserved just for Potter and his friends. Another recipient of his displeasure is Professor Lupin. He knows he is not allowed to tell anyone about the secret he knows of, but sometimes he really wishes he could, just to see what would happen.

In lieu of that, he always makes sure to show his disapproval of Lupin and his lessons, whether it be through criticising his approach on certain writers and pieces or simply through creating a nuisance. Quickly he realises that Lupin, too, is very well aware of just who Draco is, and chastises him very carefully, without ever bringing up the matter of his misbehaviour with the Headmistress or his parents.  _ Good _ , he thinks to himself,  _ let him fear me _ .

Being a Malfoy comes with its benefits, and one of them is certainly the reverence in which people hold that name. It helps Draco maintain his image of rigidity and haughtiness that he has been taught is proper for the outside world. He is afraid to let himself wonder whether or not this is actually a benefit.

Truth is, he cannot decide whether or not he likes Hogwarts. At first it felt like an adventure, something different from his mundane everyday life at home. However, he now often catches himself feeling lonely, even amongst hundreds of children; there aren’t many people he can actually talk to - apart from Blaise Zabini, of course, but he has made his own friends now and Draco doesn’t want to intrude. He used to like playing with him when they were younger, more than playing with Crabbe or Goyle, but now Blaise hangs out with Theodore Nott and Pansy Parkinson and a whole other group of Slytherins. And Draco would never want to seem desperate.

He writes many letters to his mother, and misses her a lot. He feels like a baby for it, and he would never tell Crabbe and Goyle about it. But his mother’s presence always allowed him to reveal a side of himself that he now has to keep hidden at all times - the side that organises tea parties with dolls, and loves ballet. Draco really misses that side, too. If only there was a way to keep it close - maybe in the depths of his trunk, along with his pointe shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tempted to write a full-on discovering Hogwarts chapter but that's really not the focus of the story. The Muggle version of Hogwarts that we have come up with is simply a posh boarding school. I did however attempt to give a bit of context regarding the teachers and the subjects.
> 
> This chapter was a little short but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Please leave me a comment and tell me what you think of this story! See you next week :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This week's chapter features a significant time jump; we're three years down the line!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been reading and enjoying this story, leaving kudos and comments. It means the world to me. This little project has been in the works for ages and I'm so happy to finally be posting it. The positive response gives me the courage to keep making stories :)
> 
> Please enjoy today's chapter! I'll see you at the end notes!

_ October 1996 - Draco’s fourth year at Hogwarts _

Draco curses under his breath as he runs up the stairs from the Slytherin common room and heads to the library. He has completely forgotten about the Literature assignment that is due tomorrow, and only has a few hours left to complete it.

On his way, he passes the theatre and the rehearsal halls, and notices that the school band is practising. He immediately recognises the melody; it is the final waltz from  _ The Nutcracker _ , for God’s sake. Intrigued, he stops for a minute and reads the poster outside the theatre; there is a production of Tchaikovsky’s famous ballet to be presented by the school’s dance department this Christmas.

Reluctantly, he walks into the empty theatre. It is a beautiful hall, sunlight entering from the vast windows and naturally illuminating the stage. He has attended events here before, but he has never walked on that stage, never been part of any performance.

The bag with his assignment falls on the floor next to him as he closes his eyes and listens to the music coming from the next room. A smile forms on his lips as he remembers hearing it at home every Christmas, along with the tale of Clara and the enchanted prince.

He stands alone in the deserted theatre, hearing this piece that is such an integral part of his existence and all of a sudden Draco cannot contain his feet.

He climbs up on the empty stage and takes off his shoes. He throws his jacket on the floor, and undoes his tie. The faint music leads his steps, and he closes his eyes again as he spins into an impromptu choreography.

The tension in his muscles is released - it feels like he has held it there for years. He gracefully flies into the air, lands on his toes with elegance, twirls around again and again until he feels dizzy, and finally bows down to the imaginary audience, so deep that his nose almost touches the floor.

And he hears clapping.

For a moment he thinks he’s so caught up in his fantasy that he’s beginning to hear things, but he soon realises this is not the case. Because a man that is very much real is standing in the middle of the theatre, applauding him. And as if that weren’t enough, it’s no other that Professor Lupin.

Draco's stomach sinks to the floor - he has been caught by the last person he would ever share his secret with, the person who has brought shame upon his family, the person he has despised for years. What will he do, now that he knows? Will he use this against him? Will he tell Potter and his horrid friends? No, Draco cannot afford to have  _ Harry Potter, _ of all people, learn that he does  _ ballet _ , of all things. He must ensure that Lupin will not speak, and if that means blackmailing him with another significant piece of information, then so be it. Even if he has to break his promise of never mentioning it.

“Mr. Malfoy, I had no idea you possessed such a talent!” says Lupin, wide-eyed.

Draco jumps from the stage. “If you tell a  _ soul _ about this,” he threatens, “I will  _ destroy _ you!”

“But, my dear, why would you keep it a secret? Such gifts are meant to be shared with the world!”

“Are you mocking me, professor?” he asks, although Lupin’s tone is rather sincere.

“Of course not, why would I? I was just about to suggest that you audition.”

“Audition?”

“For  _ The Nutcracker _ . I happen to know that they still haven’t cast the lead. Why don’t you give it a go?”

Draco is speechless. The idea that Lupin wants to humiliate him even further crosses his mind but for some reason, he cannot bring himself to believe it. Still though, should he follow the advice of someone like  _ him _ ?

He puts his shoes back on, grabs his bag and storms out of the theatre. The thought keeps turning in his head; should he audition for the show? What he wouldn’t give to be back on a stage, wearing a ballet costume, twirling under the blinding stage lights. He truly has missed it.

When the time came for him to go to Hogwarts, he had to leave ballet aside. Back then, his mother had proposed that they work out an arrangement with the school - there was a dance department there, she said, and they’d surely be happy to let him join. Draco, however, refused; “I will pursue it when I’m older,” he reassured himself, despite knowing very well that ballet training cannot be put on hold. Instead, he occasionally became involved in sports - much to his father’s delight - and was very careful to never display any inclination towards dancing, lest his secret be revealed. So why should he ruin everything now?

In the end, he writes to his mother about it. Her response is enthusiastically positive; she urges him to try out for the show, and assures him that she and his father will support him. Draco suspects that his father hasn’t actually been informed of the situation, but does feel a little more validated, a little more secure.

When he is finally able to pluck up enough courage, he visits the office of the ballet instructor, a woman in her thirties with light brown hair tied into a ballerina bun so tight that it pulls on her features, and body posture so straight that Draco feels she might have swallowed a ruler.

“Miss Fairfax?” he asks reluctantly while pushing the open door.

“Hello there," says Miss Fairfax as she takes off her glasses and looks up at him in slight surprise. "How can I help you?”

“My name is Draco Malfoy, and I am interested in the auditions for  _ The Nutcracker _ .” He cannot believe the words that have just exited his mouth.

She takes a moment to examine him before responding. “I appreciate the interest, Mr. Malfoy, but traditionally auditions are only open to members of the department. I do not recall having you in my class.”

His cheeks burn. “But… Miss… I have years of ballet training. I received my pointe shoes before coming to Hogwarts. I’m willing to work and get back into shape for this, if you would give me the opportunity.” Why is his voice quivering? For God’s sake, he isn’t that desperate for this role, is he?

“Very well,” agrees Miss Fairfax. “It would be refreshing to cast a boy in a male part for once. When would you like to audition?”

“Anytime, Miss. The only problem is, I have outgrown my pointe shoes.”

She gives a well-intended smirk. “That’s not a problem. We’ll get you a new pair, and you’ll have time to break them in until the show. If, of course, your audition is successful.”

Her last remark proves unnecessary. The three years that have gone by barely show in Draco’s performance, and he is immediately given the title role in the show. Rehearsals begin, and Draco spends almost every afternoon practising. He doesn’t tell his friends a word, however, always making up some excuse about where he’s sneaking off to.

Somehow, the girls in the department do not betray him. He initially feared that they would gossip around the school, but it seems that he has earned their respect. Cho Chang, who plays the Sugar Plum Fairy, is very gracious towards him, and Pansy Parkinson also helps him protect his secret, making sure none of the Slytherin boys question his excuses. In fact, they start hanging out together every now and then, along with Blaise Zabini. Draco had missed his old friend and is pleased with this development.

The day of the show eventually comes. Draco stands in the wings waiting for his cue, wearing his new pointe shoes along with his white tights and his red and gold Nutcracker costume. His heart is beating inside his head with loud thumps. He still hasn’t told anyone, but they must have seen his name on the poster outside the theatre; it’s over now. Every single student and teacher knows that Draco does ballet. Crabbe and Goyle and Blaise Zabini, and even  _ Potter _ , who must now be mocking him with his disgusting little friends. Why did he agree to do this? Why did he let Professor Lupin get in his head? This was a stupid, stupid idea. God, this is terrible. Why can’t the ground just open up and swallow him in?

Before the panic rising inside him manages to overwhelm him, Miss Fairfax signals that it’s time to go on stage. He takes in the deepest breath his lungs can hold and puts his thoughts aside; right now, there is only his body and the melody. And off he goes.

Performing for an audience is still a thrill like no other, and Draco is exhilarated to have found it again. The stage lights blind him and he can only barely distinguish some of the people sitting in the front row - his parents must be among them, but he can’t really tell with certainty. The thoughts of panic do not bother him again. He feels like a fish in water, after having been out of it for quite a while.

When the show is over and all the dancers come forward for the curtain call, he is the last one to take a bow, having performed as the title character. The audience, which has been clapping moderately for some time, is all of a sudden overcome with excitement. The cheering and applause he receives leave Draco astounded. He smiles a huge smile that probably reaches his ears, and takes another bow. The audience loses it. A tear rolls down Draco’s cheek. He is happy.

He doesn’t have time to see any of the other students after the show; he is getting picked up by his parents and brought home with them for the holidays. His mother welcomes him with a large bouquet of flowers, a tight hug and many kisses. "I'm so incredibly proud of you sweetheart," she cries and Draco decides to leave aside his embarrassment at her affections - he understands. He never doubted her anyway.

The one he feared was his father. Lucius Malfoy had never attended any of his son’s recitals, and this is the first time he has seen Draco on stage. He finally turns his eyes to his father’s face, and sees something that surprises him; a smirk. He is satisfied. “Congratulations, Draco,” is all he says, but it’s enough to make the boy’s chest swell with pride. For the first time in a while, everything seems to be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I hope the time jump wasn't too abrupt or jarring. I did it as intentionally as possible but still feel a little weird about it. Then again, this is when the real plot begins and I didn't want to delay it any longer.
> 
> What do you think of these new developments? Draco is dancing again! I, for one, am very happy for him. I've actually drawn from my own experience in theatre; I was in my school's theatre department as a kid but then gave up on it because I couldn't see a future for myself on stage. After a five year hiatus, I got back to it as an adult and I was in my first real play last year!
> 
> Perhaps you don't care about my story, but I do put a bit of myself into the things that I write. It sounds deeper than it really is when I say it like that, but it's true. If you've read my Tonks/Fleur fic, I wrote about Tonks' sexuality as well as her relationship with her mother in a way that reflects my own life. In this story I write about Draco and his love of the stage, as well as his father's disapproval, inspired by my own experiences.
> 
> Anyway, sorry if this is too irrelevant but I thought I'd share a few things about myself. I like to be reminded that fanfiction writers are real people with complex personalities and interesting lives. It adds to the relationship between reader and author. Do you agree, or would you prefer more impersonal notes?
> 
> Either way, thanks again for reading this story. If you liked it please leave a kudos and consider writing me a comment. I'd love to have a chat about anything you like.
> 
> I'll see you next week with another chapter. xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness, I completely forgot it was Sunday yesterday! It's been a little harder to keep track of days with all the quarantine stuff. Here's a short chapter for today, please enjoy!

_ January 1997 _

The Christmas holidays pass rather uneventfully. They have dinner with the Blacks, as always, and Draco gets a chance to see family members that school has kept him away from, such as his grandparents or his little cousins; Lyra is now seven, and little Perseus has recently turned three - he has inherited his mother’s soft brown hair and his father’s trademark grey eyes. Uncle Regulus and Aunt Josephine are proudly watching their children play, and Draco feels a pang of jealousy at the way the little ones laugh together.

Aunt Bellatrix is also there, and she doesn’t look like she’s at her most stable right now. Her recent divorce with Rodolphus Lestrange must have contributed to this; ever since Thatcher’s resignation, Aunt Bella has been trying to cope with her lack of purpose in different unhealthy ways; one of them was having affairs, and the fact that her latest affair went public was probably what terminated her already deteriorating marriage.

His grandparents check in on her every now and then and monitor the atmosphere, making sure that nothing upsetting is brought up. They have been through such instances before. Draco knows that his aunt has also been around Malfoy Manor a lot while trying to recover, and that his mother is doing her best at fulfilling her sisterly duties. She loves her sister, that’s for sure, but she’s also a little afraid of her. And rightfully so, now that his aunt’s mental health is far from balanced. The constant intermarrying in the Black family has created a streak of madness among some of its members, and Aunt Bellatrix is a prominent example.

The absence of Rodolphus, along with Uncle Orion’s death the previous year, has left two empty spots at the dinner table of Grimmauld Place. Aunt Walburga has taken her husband’s place, now being the sole Mistress of the Manor. Despite the seventy years of her age, she still maintains the haughty good looks and the eyes of piercing steel that Draco has always known, and always feared a little. The only stark difference from her youth is her hair, which she proudly refuses to dye; the once silky black curls have now turned dark grey with streaks of white. Draco compares her to the portrait that hangs in the hallway, the one her husband had commissioned when they were first married, in which she looks like an ethereal enchantress. The artist has failed to capture the more terrifying aspect of her beauty.

They do not discuss Draco’s ballet recital in front of her. They never discuss things she might disapprove of, unless she specifically brings them up. Like the time when she asked Draco about Professor Lupin, and his opinion on him. Draco made sure to badmouth him profusely, making Aunt Walburga’s lips purse in a satisfied manner. He feels a little guilty about that now. Professor Lupin isn’t that bad after all. He promises himself that he’ll make up for everything once he gets back.

Draco has spent the holidays in his own little shell, and comes back to school having completely forgotten all his ballet-related worries. However, Crabbe and Goyle seem less willing to associate with him, and occasionally avoid him. He shrugs it off, not being particularly heartbroken, and gladly accepts Blaise and Pansy’s company. He is more comfortable with them, and doesn’t feel like he has to act all haughty and superior.

Harry Potter has been obnoxious and annoying as usual, perhaps even more so since he started dating Cho Chang - this must have happened just before Christmas, when Draco was too swept up in his own problems to notice. What does a girl as pretty as Cho even see in him? The two of them disgust him. He sees them all the time holding hands in the halls or dragging each other to secluded corners. It’s getting increasingly annoying.

Potter has never mentioned anything about Draco’s new hobby, or used it as an argument against him. This doesn’t mean that their rivalry has subsided; quite the opposite, really. He gets on his nerves more than ever, always trying to outwit him in class and going out of his way to provoke him. More often than not, it works too.

Draco continues attending ballet practice, having gone public about it and found the joy in it once again. The evenings at the studio are the most fulfilling and relaxing part of his week. Miss Fairfax has suggested that he try out for the Royal Ballet School next year - he’ll think about it. Even the mere thought that he stands a chance makes him proud.

He is returning from practice one night when a bunch of older Gryffindors eye him curiously in the corridor. Draco ignores them and makes his way down the stairs, but they follow him.

“What do we have in here?” asks a large Gryffindor with a deep voice as he grabs Draco’s bag. He opens it and begins to take things out. He lifts Draco’s tights in the air and waves them. The others laugh. “Don’t you have a tutu to go with that?” he mocks him.

“Give him back his bag,” comes a voice from behind. Draco recognises it; how could he not? It belongs to Harry Potter, his arch nemesis. The older Gryffindors toss the bag to the floor, having lost interest in it.

Draco ignores Potter, grabs the bag and runs away, all the way to his dorm. He runs and runs and his thoughts run along with him, going through his head in panic.  _ I hate stupid Harry Potter. Why did he have to be there to see me humiliated? I bet he laughs at me with his friends and all the other Gryffindors. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I hate his stupid glasses and his stupid messy hair and his stupid green eyes and his stupid smile and his dimples and the way his arms have become all muscular lately and… _

_ Oh no. _

He stops dead in his tracks.

_ I like him. _

He can’t breathe.

_ How did I not see it before? _

He collapses. His knees hit the floor.

_ I have a crush on Harry Potter. _

***

It takes him a while to come to terms with his realisation. He goes through a period of denial first; he refuses to believe himself to be a  _ homosexual _ , it is simply not acceptable. What is he going to do? How is he going to go about his life? This changes everything. He remembers learning about homosexual people when he asked his father about Sirius years ago. He would never have considered himself as  _ one of them _ .

Soon enough, however, denial gives its place to just sheer panic. It’s true, of course it is. He is gay, and has a crush on Harry Potter. This explains so much, it feels as if several puzzle pieces have fallen into place. And this is everything but comforting. He feels helpless, torn between embracing his newfound identity and trying to make it go away by simply ignoring it. And it  _ really _ isn’t helping that Harry parades his girlfriend in front of him with every given chance.

Focusing on classes and homework is nearly impossible when this thought tortures him day and night. His situation must seem very grave because Professor McGonagall approaches him and asks if anything is wrong. Draco appreciates the concern, but would rather not explain to her that his entire  _ existence  _ is wrong. He doesn’t think she would take too well to that. Still, she seems to be pretty fond of Professor Lupin. Maybe she’s not the type of person who would hold it against him.

Professor Lupin! He had completely forgotten about him. Jesus, he had promised himself to pay him a visit in his office and thank him. Now he has one more reason to do so; he’s curious to observe another gay person and see how he can possibly be living a normal life. Hopefully it will help him figure out how to deal with his own situation. Because right now all he can do is wallow in despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, a bit short but I have come to accept my own inability to write long chapters :') I just want to split scenes up neatly into little sections! Next week's chapter is going to be longer though, so stay tuned for that!
> 
> In the meantime, what do you think of the story so far? What did you think of *the realisation* and *the gay panic*? As a self-proclaimed expert on the topic, I'm interested in hearing your thoughts. (I just love writing people realising they're gay, alright? It's a weakness.)
> 
> Also, I haven't asked so far but I would love to know: how are you finding my portrayal of Remus (and the mentions of Sirius) in this story? I assume some of you have come from The Boys of Summer initially, and I'm curious to hear how you expected them to grow up and just your thoughts on them. If, on the other hand, you're reading this as a standalone piece, I would obviously recommend that you check out TBoS, and I would love to know what you think as well!
> 
> Take care, I'll see you next SUNDAY (Jesus) xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and happy Sunday! Here's a new chapter which holds a special place in my heart. It was one of the first ideas we had about this story and I'm so happy it made it into the final cut. Please enjoy and I'll see you at the end notes.

_ Spring 1997 _

The plaque on the door reads  _ Prof. R. J. Lupin _ . Draco wonders for a moment what the _J._ stands for, then takes in a deep breath and knocks.

“Come in,” says a friendly voice. Draco walks in, and Professor Lupin lifts his eyes from the papers he is grading. There is a knowing look on his face, as if he has been expecting the boy to show up.

“Hello there, Mr. Malfoy. Had a nice holiday?” Draco nods. “I’m glad. What brings you here? Do you need help with that Shakespeare assignment?”

Draco swallows the lump in his throat. “Professor, I’m here to… to thank you. For suggesting that I try out for the show. It turned out to be a valuable experience, and it meant a lot to me. So, thank you.” He is quite surprised at himself for actually going through with this.

Professor Lupin smirks. “You’re welcome, Draco. It would have been a crime if I had allowed for anyone else to snatch that part from you. They would have assigned it to a girl, for God’s sake.”

An awkward silence reigns over them for a few moments.

“Also… Professor… There’s something else. I- I want to apologise.”

Professor Lupin’s eyebrows go up in surprise. “For what?”

“For… for making your life difficult. I have been stupid, I know. But, you see, I had heard certain things from… from my family, and I felt like it was my duty to hate you.”

“So you know.” Draco understands immediately. “Well, that’s good. It leaves me with much less explaining to do.” The professor reaches into his bag and pulls out a small envelope. “Here,” he says, offering it to Draco. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“A note, from a person who has something to say to you. Open it when you’re alone, preferably.”

Draco suspects very strongly who the note is from. “Thank you, sir,” he says as he slips it into the pocket of his vest.

"No, thank you, Draco. It takes a big man to apologise."

Once he is out of the office, Draco runs through the castle and downstairs, to the Slytherin dorms. Thankfully, the room is empty once he gets there, and he plunges himself onto his bed. He rips off the envelope, unfolds the piece of paper, and is met with a few lines of elegant handwriting.

_ Dear Draco, _

_ I’m not sure how much you know about me, so let me introduce myself. I am Sirius Black, your mother’s first cousin and your disgraced uncle. I am also the long-term partner of your teacher, Professor Lupin. But I suspect you might have known this already. Naturally, my preference for the same sex is the reason I have been removed from the family. Perhaps you know this as well. _

_ A couple of months ago, I would never have found myself writing you this letter. However, I was present at the Christmas show two weeks ago, after Professor Lupin persuaded me to come, and I had the chance to see you dance. And I must say, Draco, you were sensational. Your performance brought literal tears to my eyes. And amongst my admiration, I felt something else too; I was proud of you. My heart was practically swollen with pride at the fact that this wonderful young dancer was my own nephew. _

_ Afterwards, though, I realised that I had no right to be proud of you. I have not been a part of your life so far, and despite the blood that we share, there is no real connection between us. Perhaps you would like to help me fix that. If so, you can write me a response. Otherwise, feel free to ignore this letter. I don’t want to be putting any pressure on you. _

_ Yours, _

_ Sirius _

Draco reads the letter again and again. He cannot believe it! This is exactly what he needs right now; someone to trust and to talk to. But can he trust Sirius? Well, there is only one way to find out. He fumbles in his school bag for a pen and a piece of paper, and moments later he is writing his response:

_ Dear Sirius, _

_ I was surprised to receive your letter. Indeed, I do know about you and Professor Lupin, as well as the reason why you have been disowned. I must confess that it makes me feel somewhat rebellious, being in touch with a family outcast. I am very curious about you. _

_ Thank you for your kind words about my performance. I love to dance, and I was afraid to show it before, but thanks to Professor Lupin I auditioned for the show and got the role. He deserves some of the credit too. _

_ I have been rather mean to him in the past, but I assure you that I intend to change this behaviour. I hope you will not hold what our family has drilled into my head against me. I am sure you must have been through the same thing. _

_ There are so many things I’d like to ask you. Where do you live now? What do you do? How did you get by when Aunt Walburga disowned you? Do you miss any of your relatives, like Uncle Regulus? Are you in touch with Andromeda? I’m very curious about her as well - she is my aunt after all, and my mother always gets emotional when someone brings her up. _

_ Forgive me for bombarding you with questions, and don’t worry; you don’t have to answer anything if you don’t want to. In any event, I would like for us to establish a correspondence. I am eagerly awaiting your response. _

_ Yours, _

_ Draco _

He folds the piece of paper and puts it in his pocket - he’ll give it to Professor Lupin with the first chance he gets. He then hides Sirius’ letter in the depths of his trunk. These sudden developments have filled him with a sense of exhilaration; now he has something exciting to look forward to.

He and Sirius soon begin a correspondence. Draco feels both anxious and relieved whenever he receives a letter from his uncle, or whenever he sits down to write him back. Life has been getting rather hectic lately, especially with that  _ damned _ Harry Potter around all the time. Now that he has identified the true nature of his feelings, Draco finds Harry’s presence even more unbearable. It doesn’t help that Harry gets a strange pleasure out of picking on him. The situation makes this crush really hard to get over.

Draco was surprised to find out that Sirius is Harry’s godfather, and has been best friends with Harry’s dad since their Hogwarts days. He would like to ask Sirius more about Harry and his family, but he’s too afraid that maybe his uncle will figure him out. And although he feels like Sirius is an ideal person to open up to about his identity and his feelings, Draco isn’t sure if he can trust him yet. Besides, he really doesn’t want to put his confession in writing, since his letters could fall into the wrong hands one day. The Malfoys often find themselves in the public eye, after all, and they have to be careful.

This is what sparks an idea in his head; what if he were to visit Sirius? He has read all about him and his life, as well as stories about Andromeda and her daughter Nymphadora, Draco’s first cousin. It would be nice if he could have some sort of visual reference for these people. Sirius has even hinted at the two of them possibly meeting in person. Yes, Draco would like that. He needs to see him and have a real conversation with him. There is only so much that can be said through a bunch of letters.

He includes a request for arranging a meeting in his next letter. The summer holidays are approaching, and Draco will be spending a few days in London before he and his parents leave for their villa in the south of France. Perhaps he can visit Sirius then.

Sirius writes him back, excited at the prospect. They set a date and time for Draco’s visit, and Sirius encloses his and Professor Lupin’s address. Draco is quite anxious about this meeting, but also looks forward to it. What will their house look like? How will they act around each other? The few whispered words that he has heard on the topic portray gays and their lifestyle as abnormal and perverse, and he is curious to see how much truth these rumours hold. He is a little bit scared - what of, he does not know for sure. But, more than anything, he hopes that they will be just as normal as everyone else. This perhaps could mean that he is normal as well.

His parents buy the lies about him going out with friends, and drop their objections about him taking public transportation when he says he doesn’t want to look too privileged by showing up in a luxury car with a driver. He gets himself quite lost in the tube, having never taken it before, but he finally manages to find the place. He has never been to a building like this before; it is very tall and there are two flats on each floor. Sirius’ flat is up on the fourth floor.

Draco rings the bell that says  _ Lupin _ on it. He wonders why there isn’t a  _ Black _ next to it. A voice he doesn’t recognise answers; “Hello?”

“It’s Draco,” he says.

“Welcome, Draco! Come on up. The lift is broken, use the stairs!”

Draco climbs the four flights of stairs and arrives to Sirius’ flat, a little out of breath. The door opens before he has time to knock.

“Hi there,” says the man behind it. “Please, come in.”

Draco observes him. He isn’t short, but also not very tall. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He has long black hair and sharp cheekbones. His eyes are steel grey, his teeth pearly white and perfect. A silver earring glimmers on his ear. The longer he looks at him, the more obvious it becomes; he looks  _ exactly _ like Aunt Walburga.

“Hi Sirius,” he says. “Thanks for having me. It’s nice to meet you.”

He walks inside the flat and looks around; he has never been to such a humble dwelling before. There is a sofa, two armchairs, a small coffee table and a television across the room. On the other side there is a round dining table with four chairs. Next to the dining space there is a counter, and behind it a kitchenette. A corridor with a couple of doors probably leads to the bedroom and bathroom.

“Not quite your manor, is it?” says Sirius without any malice. “Judging from my own experience, I was expecting you to get a bit of culture shock.”

“You’re not wrong, even taking the tube was a bit of a challenge, but I figured it out.”

“We always figure things out when we have no other choice.” Draco understands that Sirius isn’t talking about the tube.

“Is Professor Lupin here?” he asks.

“No, Remus is visiting his parents. His mother is a little unwell, I’m sorry to say. But I think it’s better this way, we need our own space if we’re gonna get to know each other.” He motions to the sofa. “Please, have a seat.” Sirius sits in the armchair by the window. “This is Remus’ chair, so don’t tell him I sat in it,” he says conspiratorially. Draco smiles.

“So, Draco. I was surprised the first time you wrote me back. I didn’t think you would be instantly so open to communicating with me.”

“I have only heard your name whispered in conversations, and you always were a kind of mystery to me. When I got an opportunity to learn more about you, I jumped at it.”

“And what did you make of me through my letters?”

“Some of your ideas are a little radical, but you seem like a cool person. I’m sure that everyone wants to be your friend.”

Sirius laughs. “Radical, huh? Perhaps it’s true.”

“And what do you make of me?” asks Draco.

“You’re a bright kid. You’ve had a very specific upbringing, one that I can relate to very much, but you’re open to new things. You’re talented and passionate. I like you, Draco. You’re nothing like what Harry says.”

“Harry Potter?” He can’t believe his ears; Harry talks about him to his godfather?

“Oh yes, he used to go on and on about you when he was younger, and even now he mentions you often. You two must be mortal enemies, right?” he asks light-heartedly.

“Well, we aren’t children anymore, so we definitely don’t get into as many fights. But we do dislike each other.” He says that very firmly, as if to convince himself of it. But who is he fooling? He’s head over heels for dumb Harry Potter.

“So it seems. But I don’t think Harry is right about you. You’ve proven that you are kind. Remus used to tell me all about your terrible behaviour in the past,” Draco twitches with shame at that, “but after you came to his office and apologised, he really appreciated your change of heart, and admired your courage to admit your mistake.”

“It wasn’t easy, but I find myself reconsidering a lot of things lately.”

Sirius looks like a perfectly normal person. Even better, he’s wonderful and charming. His manners are honest and confident, his laugh melodic and hearty. There is some sadness deep in his eyes but there is light too, and he feels familiar even though Draco has never met him before. Perhaps it is the little pieces of other relatives that Draco sees in him; his mother’s grace, or Uncle Regulus’ kindness. But there is also something proud and strong about him, a bravery that makes him unique. Draco really likes him. And he’s so relieved.

They spend the evening talking about all sorts of things. Sirius tells him stories from his childhood at Grimmauld Place and Hogwarts, stories about how he got by when his mother disowned him, about being a gay rights activist, even stories about him and Professor Lupin.

“How did you two meet?”

“That one is a long story. Maybe I’ll tell you the full version someday. We met one summer in a tiny village on the coast of Cornwall.”

Draco smiles. That sounds lovely.

Sirius’ stories leave a bittersweet aftertaste. He has been through a lot in his life, and some of his experiences must have been very painful, but there are others full of joy and hope. And if these stories have shaped him into who he is today, maybe they were all for a purpose. Because he definitely is an admirable man.

“Why did you decide to tell them? That Christmas night at Grimmauld Place?”

Sirius sighs. “It’s simply who I am. I couldn’t fathom a life of pretending, never truly free to pursue happiness. I couldn’t stand it. I needed to break free.”

Draco nods. “I understand.” The more he gets to know his uncle, the easier it is to make sense of his own identity. And despite not being daring and brave like Sirius, he recognises the importance of telling someone.

  
If he could only tell  _ her _ . Will she understand? Will she make everything okay again? Maybe it’s stupid to have such high hopes but he needs to try. He needs to break free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Draco met Sirius! Were you guys expecting this to happen? Writing this part required some delicate handling, at least for me. But I'm happy with how it turned out! I think a presence like Sirius is something missing from Draco's life. He represents the idea that sometimes people can go their own way, stray from the predetermined path, and still be happy. What are your thoughts on them meeting?
> 
> And a question for you: do you call your parents' first cousins "uncles" and "aunts" or "second cousins once removed"? In my native language we normally say uncle or aunt, and I decided to use this logic in order to establish a specific dynamic. Also since we're talking about languages, where are you reading this from? Share in the comments if you'd like! No pressure though, just curious to see which far-off places this little story has reached. I'm writing to you from hot, sunny Greece.
> 
> P.S. if you don't know what I'm referring to by "that Christmas night at Grimmauld Place," feel free to read a previous work in this series called "Off The Tapestry." I'm sure you can imagine what it's about.
> 
> Have a nice Sunday and I'll see you next week with another quite special chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Before you start reading I just wanted to thank you for all your sweet comments. I'm going through a bit of a rough patch right now and they definitely help brighten up my day. Sometimes you need to hold on to something, and silly as it may be, uploading fanfictions in my tiny corner of the internet and receiving all these nice words does help. So thank you for being here.
> 
> That said, please enjoy this new chapter. It's one of my favourites :)

_ Summer 1997 _

The Malfoys own a beautiful villa in the French Riviera that they visit almost every summer. It has been in the family for generations and it is truly a magnificent building, not as grand as Malfoy Manor but certainly a summer house worthy of its wealthy owners. Draco used to spend his summers building sand castles at the secluded beach, his mother running after him with a bottle of suncream lest he become red as a lobster. Since he became older, he has swapped the sand castles for books, and spends his afternoons reading on a sunbed and listening to the waves in the background until the sun goes down.

He enjoys going on rides in the yacht too. It is his father’s favourite, and he’s always in such a good mood whenever they take it for a spin. They have a helmsman named Antoine, whom Draco likes very much. There are many photos of the two of them at the steering wheel through the years, with Draco slowly growing into the captain’s hat that Antoine lets him wear.

Sometimes, when the privacy of their villa becomes too tedious, they will sail out to one of the nearby towns, like Antibes or Cannes. Draco’s favourite is the glamorous Saint-Tropez. He loves being surrounded by the rich and famous in this hideout place for the jet set elite. When he was younger, he and his mother would play a game called “celebrity spotting”, assigning points depending on how famous the celebrity they spotted was. Draco’s highest score was when he spotted Julia Roberts.

Today, however, is another quiet day at the house. His father has gone to the harbour to overlook some repairs on the yacht. Draco and his mother are lounging on the veranda. He watches as she reads her magazine, clad in a long white sundress and sipping a cool fruity beverage. Her fingers absent-mindedly skim through the pages, and there is an almost dreamy look on her face. Draco hates to break her serenity. But he must. It is now or never.

“Mum… I need to talk to you.”

She puts down the magazine and looks up with a smile. “Of course, darling. Get over here.” She pats the chair beside her and Draco walks to the other side of the veranda with slow, heavy steps. He settles beside his mother and frowns when she affectionately brushes some hair off his forehead.

“What’s troubling you, little dragon?” The warmth and sweetness of her voice makes him feel even worse somehow. He has gone over this conversation in his head so many times that the words are starting to feel meaningless. He takes a deep breath in.

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for some time. I finally decided to do it. And… I want you to help me tell Father, too.”

His mother gives an understanding nod. “Let’s hear it, then.”

“I had prepared a big monologue, but now I feel like I just want to get it off my chest. So here it goes. I’m… I’m  _ gay _ .”

He braces himself for her reaction, but nothing comes. Not even the slightest hint of anger, not even surprise. Instead, she pulls him into a hug, and kisses his cheek.

“Draco… I know that,” she says, her arms still wrapped tightly around him. “I’ve known for a very long time. But I’m glad you’ve finally decided to tell me yourself.”

He breaks from the embrace and stares at her in pure shock. “Are you serious? You knew? Why… why didn’t you tell me?”

His mother laughs. “Darling, I wasn’t supposed to tell you you were gay! It was your job to figure it out! Besides, I honestly thought you were aware of it. When did you find out?”

“After Christmas, I guess.”

She gasps, scandalised. “You didn’t know before?”

He shakes his head and shrugs.

“Draco, the first Christmas gift you ever asked for was a porcelain tea set! You used to watch soap operas with me and then reenact their plots!  _ With your dolls! _ You first got into ballet because you liked to try on my old costumes! And every year you stayed up way past your bedtime to watch the Eurovision! Did you really not even  _ suspect  _ that you might be gay?”

Draco chuckles. “Well, if you put it like this… But mum, how was I supposed to know this wasn’t the behaviour of a typical boy? I was homeschooled until the age of eleven, remember?”

“But you had plenty of playdates with other boys your age! How about Vincent and Greg? Or Blaise?”

“I always assumed Crabbe and Goyle were just savages. And as for Blaise… well… he never made me feel different. He didn’t mind playing the guest at my tea parties, and the fact that he didn’t own any dolls stroke me simply as a matter of preference. What’s so funny?” This last question is due to the fact that his mother has broken into laughter.

“Oh god,” she sighs, wiping a tear. “I’m sorry, Draco, I shouldn’t be laughing. For the record, I agree; Crabbe and Goyle  _ are _ savages. I’m glad you didn’t change to match them. I’m glad you are who you are, my love.”

Draco leans his head against her shoulder, and nuzzles into the curve of her neck. “So… does that mean I’m still a part of the family?”

His mother’s eyes go wide. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, you’re not going to do what Aunt Walburga did with Sirius, right? You’re not going to burn me off the tapestry?”

“Goodness, Draco, of course not! Are you listening to yourself? I would never even dream of it!” She hugs him again, even tighter this time. “I’m embarrassed that you would even think that, darling.”

“So you have no problem with gay people? You had no problem with Sirius?”

“Well, I had several problems with Sirius, but him being gay was not one of them. It was more about how he used to play the cruelest practical jokes on me. One day he put a cockroach in my hair when I was asleep.”

“NO!” Draco is appalled. “A cockroach?! Why?”

“He was just using me as a prank target. You know, because he was too scared of your Aunt Bella, and too fond of... our other sister, and that left me as the ideal victim. He was a nasty piece of work when it came to those matters.”

Draco is shocked; he had a completely different impression so far. “So his sexuality has nothing to do with your dislike of him?”

“No, not really, although I wasn’t particularly thrilled about it back then. I remember when he announced it to us; it was Christmas, and we were having dinner at Grimmauld Place. Your father and I were just engaged. There was a massive scene and I must admit I felt like Sirius was embarrassing me in front of my fiance. I did think that Aunt Walburga was overdoing it a bit with kicking him out, but in the end I was mostly relieved.”

“So you did mind a little bit, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but can you blame me? It was the seventies, and you know the Blacks as well as I do. None of them liked gays, myself included. Of course I had to wait a few years to see how wrong I was.”

“What happened?”

His mother smiles. “ _ You _ happened, Draco. After five years of fertility treatments, hormones, IVF and miscarriages, you came along. It was the happiest day of my life. I held you in my arms and cried, because you were perfect. I never stopped believing that; you  _ are _ perfect, Draco. And when I first began to realise you might be gay… it suddenly felt like a blessing. To me, you aren’t perfect  _ despite _ being gay, Draco, you are perfect  _ because _ you are gay. It makes you who you are, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

Even in his wildest dreams he hadn’t believed this would go so smoothly. “I’ve been so scared…” he admits. “So everything is alright? Like it was before?”

  
“Nothing will ever change my love for you, my sweet boy. Everything is fine, don’t worry.”

“How about Father? Does he know?” Draco has been dreading telling his father even more, because he has been quite vocal about his disapproval of gay people in the past.

“He… suspects. I’m sure he hopes it isn’t true. He’s not very open-minded, you know your dad. But he loves you too, and he wants what’s best for you. It might take him some time, but I’m sure he’ll understand and accept it.”

“Can’t you tell him for me?”

Narcissa smiles. “I’m sorry, darling. I really think you need to do this on your own. You’ll have to assert yourself in front of people if you want to be open about your identity, and starting with your father is a good first step. I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise.”

Lucius learns the news at the dinner table. He isn’t shocked, but he assumes a somewhat pained expression upon hearing the announcement.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes still a little hopeful.

“Of course he’s sure, Lucius, what kind of question is that?” interrupts his mother.

Draco gives her a grateful look. “I’m sure. And I’m sorry if it disappoints you, Father. I can’t help it.”

Thoughtfully, Lucius takes a sip of his wine. There is a pause before he decides to speak again. “At least you’re brave, son. I appreciate that.”

His father’s face is still indecipherable. He processes it for a while longer. Finally, he speaks again.

“If anyone tries to give you any trouble about this, you come straight to me. I will take care of it.”

Draco exhales, relieved. “I will, Father. Thank you.”

In a common display of affection, Narcissa ruffles her husband’s hair and gives him a peck on the lips. “I’m proud of you both, boys,” she says with a grin. “Now, who wants to pop to Saint-Tropez?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how I love writing family drama, but here's some unproblematic family fluff for a change. I have always perceived Narcissa as an unconditionally loving mother first and foremost, and the dialogue between her and Draco was the first thing I ever wrote down for this fic (back when I didn't even think I'd be able to finish it). I wanted Draco to have this support from his family, which Sirius didn't have. In my perception, Lucius also genuinely loves his son despite certain flaws - some people have a different idea of him and that's alright, but at the end of the day I see him as a strict yet caring father. And of course setting this scene in the south of France was a fun touch, something to spice up the narrative. All in all, I'm really happy with the outcome - what did you think of this chapter?
> 
> Also, if you've been waiting and waiting for the Drarry action, don't worry. I haven't forgotten about it. In fact, the next few chapters will be much more focused on that aspect, so get excited for that!
> 
> Thanks again so much for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. It really means the world to me. Have a wonderful day and I'll see you next Sunday ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Sunday, another chapter... I really hope you like this one! I'm sure you've been expecting it for a while now. Please enjoy!

_ September 1997 _

Draco returns to Hogwarts after the summer holidays feeling both lighter and heavier. Light, because a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders and his parents support him. Heavy, because now he must figure out how to move forward with this. Finding your identity and embracing it is one thing, going on with your life after the realisation is quite another.

It is a rainy afternoon when he makes the decision. He walks into the common room and straight to Blaise and Pansy. They’re hanging out at a sofa beside the fireplace, Pansy reading a book with her head resting on Blaise’s knees as he absentmindedly plays with her hair. These two have been flirting for ages, and the new school year has found them finally getting together.

“Here they are, my favourite couple,” says Draco and sits in a chair opposite them. “Nice weather, eh?”

“Draco, you never talk about the weather,” remarks Pansy.

“Which means,” adds Blaise, “that you want to talk about something else entirely. What is it?”

Draco muses at how well his friends can read him. “You’ve got me all figured out, haven’t you? It’s true, I do want to tell you guys something. You’re my best friends, and I feel like you would understand. Besides, I need some help navigating things.”

Pansy gets up and leaves her book aside. “Is anything wrong, Draco?”

“No, not really. I suppose it depends.”

“What is it, mate? You’re getting us worried.”

“I have known this for a little while myself, and I want to let you guys know too. I’m… I’m gay.”

Blaise and Pansy look at each other, than back at Draco. They have similar amused expressions.

“Of course you are, darling,” says Pansy. “I’ve known since that time I asked you to the Yule Ball and you panicked so much.”

Draco remembers the incident. He had lost his mind over what Pansy’s invitation meant - did she  _ like him _ ? But he didn’t like her  _ in that way _ ! And if not Pansy, then who  _ did  _ he like? He couldn’t pick anyone out of all the girls in the school! Who  _ would  _ he go to the Yule Ball with? Just a girl that he had no interest in? And the spiral went on like that. At least the mystery has now been resolved; he couldn’t pick a girl to take to the Yule Ball because he simply didn’t care for girls.

Blaise laughed. “Draco, I’m not sure when I figured it out exactly but I feel like I’ve always known. Even before I knew what gay meant, I knew that you were it. You’re as gay as they come, mate, and that’s absolutely fine by me.”

Draco is flabbergasted. “Oh, so apparently everyone knew before the thought had even crossed my own mind. Would it kill you guys to give me a heads up?”

“I guess we thought you were aware of it,” says Pansy. “The times I’ve listened to you go on and on about Harry Potter and I’ve wanted to yell at you,  _ why don’t you just marry him?! _ ”

Draco freezes. “You… you know about Harry?”

“Jesus, Draco, are you serious right now?” Blaise can’t believe his ears. “You’ve talked about him all the time  _ for years! _ How could we not figure it out?”

“Alright, so I guess I’m just wasting your time here.” Draco is a little disappointed that his big dramatic reveal is neither big nor dramatic. Not even a reveal, it seems.

Pansy walks up to him and wraps her arm around his shoulders. “No, darling, don’t say that. You’re brave for admitting it and I admire your courage. It’s just that we know you so well.”

Blaise smiles. “She’s right, Draco. And if you ever need anything, or if anyone ever tries to hurt you, we’ll help as best we can.” Pansy nods along.

“Thanks guys, I appreciate it. But I don’t know if you can really help me. I mean, how could I ever get Harry Potter when I don’t even know if he likes boys? Do you think he might?”

“Oh, Draco,” whispers Pansy, “I think he might. Didn’t you see him fangirling over Cedric Diggory when we hosted that basketball tournament?”

“What?” Draco is once again bewildered. “How do you guys observe these things?”

“School is so much more fun when you observe people, Draco,” says Blaise. He turns to Pansy. “And then he ended up dating Cedric’s ex-girlfriend, when we all knew it was Cedric that he really wanted.”

They giggle, and Draco frowns. “So you think I don’t have a chance with him, then?”

Pansy takes a moment to think about it. “Well, he always teases you back, constantly tries to get into fights with you, and has a personal vendetta against you. I hate it when people say  _ he’s mean to you because he likes you _ , but honestly? I think this might be the one case where it applies.”

Blaise nods. “I think he might not realise it, Draco, but there is definitely some tension between you two. And in my opinion, it’s double-sided.”

These are probably good news but Draco still hasn’t got a plan. Besides, he’s not even sure that pursuing Harry Potter is the right thing to do. What if Blaise and Pansy are wrong and Harry is completely straight? And then what if he finds out about Draco and makes his life a living hell because of it? Can he risk exposing himself like that to his mortal enemy?

On the other hand, Harry  _ must  _ be accepting towards gay people. His godfather is gay, after all. And Draco still hasn’t forgotten about the day when Harry defended him against those older Gryffindors about the ballet equipment - it might have meant nothing, but at least it proves that Harry wouldn’t bully him over not being “man enough”.

It is these thoughts that occupy his head, and not the nomenclature of organic compounds, during his advanced Chemistry class this morning. Harry isn’t taking this class because he despises Snape, but Draco considers him one of the most brilliant minds working at Hogwarts. He is honoured to be his student, even if the man is a little peculiar. He might not have the best manners or employ the best pedagogical practices, but he certainly is an excellent teacher.

Professor Snape is handing back the tests from last week, and there seems to be a surge of dissatisfaction; the marks aren’t as high as some people were expecting. Hermione Granger is particularly heartbroken; below a 95% is not good enough for her standards, and seeing as she has received a 91% this time, she has decided to protest.

“But sir, why would you subtract three whole points for such a trivial mistake?” she whines. “Don’t you think that’s a little excessive? Especially since I’ve outdone myself with the rest of the problem!”

“The assigned points are predefined, Miss Granger. I subtracted exactly the necessary amount.” His words are perfectly neutral, but the annoyance is evident in his tone.

“It isn’t fair! My mistake doesn’t even affect the products of the reaction! It was simply an oversight! Would you allow me to take the test again?”

“It wouldn’t be fair for the rest of the class,” Snape says sternly. “Now, does anyone else have any questions?”

“Let’s all retake the test then!” suggests Granger in a desperate attempt. “Most of us received lower marks than we were expecting!”

Draco is fed up with her. “Christ, Granger, do you ever shut your loud mouth? Or do those colossal teeth of yours prevent your jaws from closing?”

Silence reigns over the classroom for a moment. Granger’s lower lip is trembling, and she looks like she’s resisting a sob.

“Mr. Malfoy,” says Snape, “please refrain from using such language inside my classroom in the future.” However, Draco can see that the corners of his mouth have turned slightly upwards.

He smirks. “I’m sorry, sir. Perhaps I will, if Granger ever realises that no one pities her for her pathetic shortcomings.”

This succeeds in making her emotional. Her face becomes red and a tear begins to roll down her cheek. “Excuse me,” she says and quickly runs out the door, failing to control her sobs.

_ Finally _ , thinks Draco,  _ some peace. _ Snape reprimands him again, no less light-heartedly than before, and continues the lesson as if nothing has happened.

After class, Draco heads to the bathroom. He’s washing his hands at the sink when he hears ominous footsteps behind him.

“Hey, Malfoy!” comes an all-familiar voice.

“Potter,” he says, mustering as much disdain as possible. “What do you want?”

“I heard about what you said to my friend. I’ve come to tell you to back off.”

Draco laughs. “Oh really? I’m so very sorry I hurt Miss Granger’s feelings. It’s too bad she can’t make peace with the truth.”

“You can make fun of  _ me  _ all you want, Malfoy. But you’ll leave Hermione alone.”

“Why do you care so much about your pathetic little friends anyway? Can’t you see they’re both losers? Of course, maybe you are one too. No wonder your girlfriend dumped you.” The reason is still unknown, but sources say that Cho Chang ended things with Harry at the end of last year.

Harry is visibly getting angrier. “ _ That _ is none of your business,” he says through grinded teeth.

“Why not, Potter? Everyone knows! I wonder why she did it though... I suppose it was because you couldn’t live up to her ex, wasn’t it? Cedric Diggory, you’re nothing compared to him.” Draco remembers what Blaise and Pansy said about Cedric. He’s trying to strike a chord.

“I don’t give a rat’s arse about Cedric Diggory! Nor do I care what  _ you _ think! Draco Malfoy, fucking prince of Hogwarts, is that how you see yourself? You’re nothing but a spoilt brat!”

Harry is now fuming, and he’s getting dangerously close to Draco’s face. His hands are tightened into fists and his eyes are shining with hot white anger.

Against his better judgment, Draco decides to keep provoking him. “And you’re so perfect, aren’t you Potter? With your ludicrous glasses and your dazzling green eyes?” What? This isn’t what he was trying to say! But the words still escape his mouth, defiant; “Everyone is all over you because you’re so handsome and an athlete, is that right? My sincerest apologies, Mr. Perfect!”

They are inches apart now, Harry’s eyes looking directly into his own. There is only a brief moment of quiet, like those that come between lightning and thunder - the air is electric, they’re both shifting in the uncomfortable tension, Harry looks agitated and flustered, dumbfounded and confused; and then it happens.

His mouth crashes into Draco’s, so instantaneously that he doesn’t even get a chance to breathe. It’s urgent and violent at first, but then it softens. It sends a shiver down Draco’s spine. And all the other sounds of the world go silent.

The longer Harry kisses him, he feels like he’s levitating off the ground, floating in mid-air. He doesn’t think, he can’t; all of his thoughts are consumed by this kiss, his racing mind still at last. It feels right and perfect and true.

And just as abruptly, Harry breaks their unison.

He looks up at Draco, terrified. He’s only now realising what he's done. Short of breath, he supports himself against the washbasin. He glances at the mirror, then back at Draco, all with the same expression of horror. Finally, he turns around and sprints out of the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH! What just happened? What does it mean? It's all a haze but we'll be figuring things out soon.
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? A bit more old-school Drarry, if I do say so myself. I like to be a bit more experimental with my fics in terms of tropes but I can't resist some classic enemies-to-lovers action. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
> 
> P.s. I mentioned Snape a couple times in this fic and I wanted to say that his story has also been rewritten into this AU... In fact, I recently wrote a oneshot about him that I'm really fond of. Would anyone be interested in reading that? Or has tumblr completely ruined Snape for you?
> 
> If you want to contribute anything about these topics or any thoughts in general, feel free to leave me a comment! I love reading what you guys have to say about my fics. Take care and I'll see you next Sunday with some more good stuff ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with the penultimate chapter! (Chapter 9 will be the final one, and 10 will be a sort of epilogue.) Please enjoy!

Draco wakes up with a headache. He barely slept last night - how could he, with the thought of what happened yesterday in the bathroom tossing and turning in his head? Harry avoided him for the rest of the day, and he is desperate for an explanation.

He hasn’t told his friends about it, although they must have certainly noticed something is off. During breakfast in the Great Hall, his tired eyes search for Harry. He is nowhere to be seen, and Weasley and Granger are eating without him. He doesn’t show up to first period either, and Professor Lupin asks if anyone knows where he is.

“He wasn’t feeling well this morning, Professor,” says Ron Weasley. “He’s in bed.”

Well, that’s a bit dramatic, even for Draco’s taste. Harry doesn’t have to pull such a stunt now, does he? Romantic feelings for another boy can be uncomfortable at first, sure, but faking being sick so he can avoid him? That’s cowardice. They will have to talk about it sooner or later, and he can’t hide forever.

If he really is in bed, then it will be easy to locate him. Draco knows the way to the Gryffindor dorms. And since classes are still in session, no one else will be there. It’s worth a shot.

He goes all the way up the tall narrow staircase and thanks the gods that the Slytherin dorms are so much more accessible. The large door that leads to the Gryffindor common room is unlocked, and so he enters undisturbed. He has never been here before. The room is obnoxiously red and gold, with lush velvet sofas and heavy curtains. There are also several things hanging on the walls, like posters and photos, as well as many personal items scattered around.

Draco makes his way up the few stairs that lead to the boys’ dorms. He knocks on each door in the corridor, until a voice behind the fifth door answers: “Yes?”

_ Here we are _ . “Potter?”

Silence.

“Potter, are you in there?”

“Malfoy?”

“I come in peace. Can we talk, please?”

“Go away.”

“I’m coming in.”

“No, leave!”

But Draco opens the door. What he sees surprises him; Harry’s hair is messier than usual, he’s pale as a ghost and he seems genuinely sick.

“Are you alright, Harry?” It’s probably the first time he has ever addressed him by his first name.

“Fine. I just haven’t slept. What do you want?”

“What do you  _ think _ I want? We have to talk about what happened.”

Harry sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes. He clumsily reaches for his glasses on the nightstand and puts them on. “Do we?”

“Listen, I know it’s hard to admit to yourself...  _ whatever  _ it is that you feel. I’ve been there.”

“I don’t… want you to get the wrong idea, Malfoy. I’m not…  _ gay _ . I like girls.”

Draco sighs. “You do?”

“Yeah, totally. I had a girlfriend. And I really did like her.”

“Okay then, I suppose that’s possible.”

“What is?”

“To like both girls and boys.”

“No, listen here, I don’t like boys at all and I certainly don’t like  _ you _ !”

Draco tries to remain calm. “If that’s true, then why did you ki-”

“SHUT UP!”

Draco goes silent. Shocked, he stares at Harry.

“I’m… I’m sorry I yelled. I just don’t want anyone to hear.”

Draco gets up, walks to the door and checks outside. “There is no one here,” he assures him as he returns.

“Alright, I might have… done the thing that you said. But it doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t? Didn’t you ever kiss your girlfriend like that?”

Harry takes a moment to think about it. “Well, honestly… No.”

“No?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone like that before.”

“Oh. So what, your normal kisses are even  _ more intense _ than that?”

“No, no, I just mean that…”

“That you like me too. That you kissed me like you’ve never kissed anyone before because you like me. Not only am I a boy, but we’ve been at each other’s throats for years. And yet you like me. Don’t you, Harry?”

Harry doesn’t respond.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to answer immediately. Take some time to think ab-”

“I do.”

Draco’s face lights up. “Really?”

“Yes, alright, I admit it. I like you. I’ve felt it before, but it really hit me yesterday. I didn’t know you also liked me. But I figured it out because of what you said, and that’s why I… that’s why I  _ kissed you _ .”

Draco tries to conceal his excitement, but his mouth forms a treacherous grin.

“I just… This is not how I thought it would be. I never thought I’d like a boy, and  _ you _ on top of that. We hate each other. So how can we… like each other?”

“Maybe we never really did hate each other at all. Maybe we were just hiding behind it.”

“But the things you’ve said to me… Some of them were really horrible.”

“Oh, and you’ve been an angel? You made fun of my mother once.”

“I… I did? I’m sorry, Draco, that’s not right.”

_ Draco, he called me Draco. _ “It’s fine, it was a silly thing anyway. You said she looks like she always has dung under her nose. And then you asked if it was because of me being with her.”

Harry chuckles. “And? Was it?”

“No, you idiot,” Draco laughs. “She goes like that when she doesn’t like something. You caught her at a bad moment, she’s actually very sweet.”

“I’m sure she is. Even Sirius admits she wasn’t his least favourite cousin, and he really hates your lot.”

Draco is surprised by the mention of Sirius. “He said that? He said that he hates me?”

“Well, not you specifically, he doesn’t even know you. His family in general.”

Sirius has kept their communication a secret, and that makes Draco appreciate him. This man can be trusted.

“Well, Harry, I’m sorry about everything I’ve said. I’m sorry for making fun of your friends too. It was never about them. It was always about you.”

“I forgive you if you forgive me.”

“I do.”

“Let’s shake on it.”

Their hands find each other, and it’s more than a friendly handshake. Neither lets go. Harry pulls him closer. Draco sits on the bed beside him, looking into his eyes. He has never observed Harry’s beautiful eyes so closely, never seen the tiny specks of gold in his deep green irises.

“Now that we’ve forgiven each other,” he says tentatively, “mind if I repeat yesterday’s events?”

“Go ahead,” whispers Harry.

And once again, their lips meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so short! I kinda suck at planning chapter lengths :) but I still think it gets the point across the way I intended. What did you think of it? My friend said it was a reversal of traditional roles, with Harry being the "immature" one here. It wasn't intentional but I'm very okay with it. After all, the concepts of these fics are a bit experimental.
> 
> I hope you guys have been enjoying reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it and sharing it! I usually write short stories or novellas, so this one is my longest baby :)
> 
> Like I said, chapter 9 will be the final one, and 10 will be the epilogue. That's why next weekend the posting schedule will be a bit different: I will be posting chapter 9 on Saturday and the epilogue on Sunday. Subscribe to the story if you don't wanna miss the updates!
> 
> Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought! Oh, and I've got a little question for you: out of all the side characters mentioned in this story, who would you like to read more about, if any?
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you next week :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, the final chapter! Please enjoy :)

It takes them both some time to figure things out. It isn’t easy to go from enemies to friends, let alone to boyfriends. But they talk it through. Harry asks Draco to apologise to Ron and Hermione, and although a bit unwillingly, he obeys. Ron is more welcoming, but Hermione remains suspicious of him. Oh well, you can’t please everyone.

Most people simply think they’ve ended their rivalry and become friends. Draco has only told the truth to Blaise and Pansy, who are enthusiastically supportive. Harry has yet to tell Ron and Hermione, although the latter probably suspects. She’s very clever, after all, and lets nothing slide.

Draco won’t pressure him. He knows how difficult coming out can be. Besides, they haven’t yet defined what they have. They find each other in secret spots to snog, but that’s about it. And if they’re really going to be together, they need to be comfortable with people knowing.

It takes him a little while, but Harry overcomes his insecurities a couple weeks later. He decides to tell his friends about himself and Draco.

“You don’t have to if you don’t feel ready,” Draco assures him.

“No, I want to.” Harry likes to be perceived as brave.

And so he breaks the news. Ron is shocked and takes some time to process it, but he eventually supports his friend. The two of them are like brothers, and Draco was expecting nothing less from the red-haired boy. Hermione isn’t shocked at all, and doesn’t seem to have a problem with the gay aspect of things - just with Draco specifically. Some people simply can’t get along, but it’s alright. Draco has Harry now, and that’s enough.

They begin spending more and more time together. Surely, rumours must have started to spread throughout Hogwarts by now. Draco doesn’t care. Like his mother said, he has to be ready to assert himself. And unapologetically being with Harry is the best way to do that.

Before they know it, Valentine’s Day arrives. They’re about to take their annual trip to Hogsmeade, the little village across from Hogwarts, when Harry asks him out on a proper date.

“As your Valentine?”

“Well, yes. Or as my boyfriend, I guess.”

And just like that, their relationship is defined. They’re  _ boyfriends. _ It’s wonderful to be able to say it. A while back, Draco wouldn’t even dare to dream of it.

He told his mother about it over the holidays. She was happy for him. She even suggested bringing Harry over sometime. Draco appreciates the sentiment, but that will probably have to wait. He can’t yet fathom sitting at a table with his boyfriend on one side and his father on the other. Lucius Malfoy is doing his best, but he hasn’t reached that level.

He asks Harry if he has come out to his parents.

“As what?”

“I don’t know, whatever you are. Bisexual, maybe?”

“I don’t like telling my parents things. They’re alright, but we aren’t  _ that  _ close. Do you tell your mother everything?”

_ Mostly. _ “No.”

“Well, neither do I. She can be rather nosy.”

“Right.”

“And my dad, he wouldn’t get it. The less they know, the better. They have Penny to keep them busy.” Penny is Harry’s younger sister, whom he loves dearly.

“You don’t have to tell them, I was only curious.”

“Just because I’m not telling my parents, it doesn’t mean that I don’t really like you.” Harry gives him a soft kiss.

“Of course,” he says when their lips are free again. “I really like you too.”

In the midst of all this, however, they still have to keep up with things. School, assignments, sports and ballet practice, life doesn’t screech to a halt just because you’ve fallen in love. Draco continues his ballet lessons, and has been practising for the Royal Ballet School auditions since the beginning of term. Miss Fairfax is very satisfied with his progress; she says his chances of getting in are very good. If he manages to get accepted, it could propel him to an illustrious career. There aren’t as many male ballet dancers, especially in England, and casting directors are always on the lookout for up and coming talents.

As the months pass, the training becomes more and more rigorous, and he has little free time left. He tries to see Harry as much as he can throughout this haze. A few times they sneak out at night, and Draco doesn’t care that he’ll be exhausted the following day. Of course, it always catches up to him.

“What happens if you get in?” Harry asks one night as they’re sitting in the courtyard, stargazing.

“Well, I’ll go study ballet there. They have the best programme in the country. It’s a boarding school, much like this one, except all the classes are dance classes.”

Harry doesn’t seem as excited at the prospect. “So you’ll leave. You’ll leave me.”

Draco breaks off his stargazing and turns to look at him. “We can still be together though. We’ll meet during the holidays.”

Harry scoffs. “It won’t work. You will forget me, and I will forget you. Who knows, maybe you’ll find someone else at the  _ Imperial Ballet Academy _ or whatever it’s called.”

“The  _ Royal Ballet School _ ,” Draco corrects him, fully aware that he’s being passive aggressive. “But Harry, I want to go. If they’ll have me, that is. It’s a great opportunity, and ballet is what I want to do when I grow up. I’ve spent all these hours practising, I won’t have it be for nothing.”

Harry frowns. “And what should I do? Wait for you?”

“No, of course not. You don’t owe me anything. I’ll always have our moments together. And, until that day comes, let’s enjoy the time we’ve got.”

Harry nuzzles his head in the curve of Draco’s neck. “Okay.”

Draco kisses his tousled hair.

***

They make the most of their remaining months. They go for picnics by the lake, pull each other into dark corners for some intense snogging, and look at the stars at night. The sky above Hogwarts is wonderfully clear. Like others in his star-named family have done before, Draco teaches Harry how to find his constellation, the dragon.

One night they sneak into the prefects’ bathroom on the fifth floor. They’ve heard stories about the wonderful pool-like bath that’s hidden in there, and Harry is enough of a daredevil to want to explore it. The sight is magnificent; a tub larger than either of them has ever seen before, surrounded by countless golden taps. Moonlight spills from the glass windows, painting the surface of the water silver.

“Can you do a long dive?” Harry asks playfully before taking off his clothes and remaining only in his underwear. “I can.” He submerges himself in the water and swims across the pool in long strides. Finally, he emerges on the other side, heaving.

Draco takes off his clothes as well and dips his feet in the water. It is pleasantly cool. He falls into the tub gracefully, without a splash, and swims to Harry.

They revel in the water for a bit, and then Draco pulls Harry into a kiss. Their hands roam each other’s bodies, holding and stroking and caressing. The atmosphere is heavy with desire.

Harry’s hand travels down Draco’s belly, and his fingers lightly brush against his boxers. “Go on,” Draco whispers into his ear. Harry’s hand presses against him, and he gasps.

Not long after, their underwear is tossed haphazardly on the sides of the bath. This is new and exciting for both of them. Draco has never been touched by someone else. He likes being touched by Harry. And Harry seems to like it too when Draco touches him.

They do this a few more times, whenever they can find enough privacy. Harry even suggests doing something with their mouths, which he apparently saw in a magazine once. Although a bit awkward at first, that feels even better. Draco will definitely not be sharing any of that with his mother.

Time runs like mad when you’re enjoying yourself most. The hands of the clock don’t stand still, no matter how much you pray that they might. Summer approaches, and so do the auditions. They are a month away, then a week, then a day, and then they’re here.

Draco is sure of himself. He has confidence in his routine and his abilities. He deserves a spot in the programme and he’s ready to prove it.

Of course he gets accepted. “I never doubted you,” says Miss Fairfax after proudly announcing the news to him. “Prodigies like yourself are very rare, they would be idiots to let you go.” She smiles bitterly. “I will miss you in my class though, Draco. I wish you every success, you deserve it.” He thanks her from the depths of his heart. He and his pointe shoes are now off to bigger things.

Eventually, he and Harry decide to give their relationship a definitive end. There really is no point in trying to make it work from a distance.

“You will always have a place in my heart,” says Harry when they break off their kiss.

“And I will always remember the first boy I ever loved,” whispers Draco as they remain in a tight embrace.

“When you’re a famous ballet dancer, and you’re starring in the Swan Lake or something, maybe I’ll come see you,” Harry’s voice cracks.

“I would like that,” says Draco, his eyes shiny with tears.

“I’ll bring you flowers. Daffodils, isn’t that your favourite?”

Draco nods, biting his lip. “You remember.”

Harry kisses him again, briefly. “I promise to never forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who were waiting and waiting for the Drarry fluff (and light smut), here it is at last! I hope you liked this last chapter - it's one of my favourites. I would talk a bit more at length about finishing this fic and what it means to me, but I'll save the sappy monologue for tomorrow, when I will be posting the epilogue. Keep an eye out for that, and have a nice Saturday!


	10. Epilogue

_ 2007 _

The makeup on his face is half-melted due to the intense stage lights and the sweat dripping from his forehead. He grabs a wet wipe from the vanity and removes it, then proceeds to undo the gold buttons on his costume. He takes it off and gives it a good shake, puts it on the hanger and fluffs up the billowing sleeves. The pointes and the white tights come off next; he lets out a heavy breath and throws himself on the small dressing room sofa, exhausted but utterly satisfied with himself. Tonight was a good show.

Absentmindedly he gazes across the room, where a vanity mirror framed by small round light bulbs sends his reflection back at him. A few photographs of friends, family, and dancers of the past are taped on the glass. Not the photograph of him and Misha, though. That one sits in a picture frame on the table, beside the flower vase. Draco smiles when his eyes fall on it; the photo was taken back in Russia, amidst a sea of tourists in the Red Square with the colourful onion-shaped domes in the distance. The boys are dressed in heavy winter coats and woolen hats, wide grins plastered over their flushed faces.

Draco studied ballet in Russia for a few years and it was there that he met Misha, this kind and charming boy that his good fortune bestowed upon him. When the time came for Draco to return home, he asked Misha to join him. He said yes, and here they are.

Next to the picture frame stands the porcelain flower vase that Draco uses to display the bouquets he receives after his shows. It is currently occupied by some daffodils that have begun to wilt since the night before. Beside them, a small card with messy handwriting:  _ from Harry _ , it states simply.

Draco was surprised to see him waiting outside the theatre last night. It was the first time they saw each other after many years, although Draco had been learning Harry’s news from Sirius. He has a degree in engineering now and works for a construction company. He’s dating Ron Weasley’s sister, and Sirius says they make a sweet couple.

Despite the surprise, Draco was pleased to see him. When they were first separated, he spent a long time hoping they would find each other again. Harry was his first love, and his young heart found it impossible to love again. But time passed, like time always does, and the heartbreak healed, the longing ceased, and all that remains of their teenage romance is a soft nostalgic feeling.

And thus he didn’t view last night as a reunion, or the reopening of a chapter in his life that has been closed. A tiny part of him will always love Harry Potter, always remember him fondly, but that ship has sailed. It wasn’t even closure. Just the fulfillment of a promise. A throwback. An opportunity to reminisce.

He refills the vase with water in an attempt to revive the beautiful flowers. As he gets dressed and prepares to leave, his cellphone rings. His mother is calling to confirm that he and Misha will be attending her birthday dinner party this evening. Draco assures her they’ll be there, along with Uncle Regulus and the children - who are barely children at this point. Narcissa Malfoy still proudly celebrates her birthday at fourty-eight. Draco smiles affectionately at the thought; he’s thankful to have inherited his mother’s confidence - or rather, to have grown into it.

It is a dark and rainy afternoon. He hails a cab and picks up Misha on the way. They arrive at his family home a tad late, but no one minds. His mother welcomes them with hugs and kisses, and everyone is glad to see them. Even his ever-serious father graces them with a smile. The evening passes with excellent food and joyous chatter, and as Draco sits beside his wonderful boyfriend, surrounded by his loving family, a warm fuzzy feeling bubbles up in his belly. He is content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! Draco made it. He became a famous dancer and his personal life is fulfilling and balanced. He and Harry didn't end up together, and that's okay. They taught each other what they had to and then moved on. I'm sure they'll sometimes meet in Sirius-related events, and the atmosphere between them will be friendly, albeit the tiniest bit awkward.
> 
> I started writing this fic God knows how long ago - back then I didn't think I'd finish it. My friend @todaslasmadrugadas patiently listened to me whine about how hard it was to write. And yet here I am, posting this epilogue that I'm lowkey proud of. Much like Draco, I am content.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for coming along. I have been thrilled by all the positive responses; the kudos and comments always brighten my day. I encourage you to leave me a comment and tell me if you liked the ending. I'm curious to see how people will perceive it.
> 
> If you're enjoying this intricate Muggle AU, consider reading the rest of the stories in this series if you haven't already. Also, if you wanna be notified for new installments, subscribe to The End of the Rainbow! I have three oneshots ready to post in the following weeks (starring a few familiar characters!) and I'm also working on another novella!
> 
> Thanks for reading. You're the bee's knees! I'm hoping to see you again soon ;)


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